What Self‑Compassion Really Looks Like (It’s Not Self‑Indulgence)

Self‑compassion is often misunderstood. It’s not about letting yourself off the hook. It’s not about avoiding responsibility. And it’s definitely not about being selfish.

In a trauma‑informed, relational space, self‑compassion is about meeting yourself with care — especially when things feel hard.

Self‑compassion sounds like:

  • “I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”
  • “It’s okay to feel this way.”
  • “I don’t have to push through just to prove something.”
  • “I deserve rest, even if I didn’t finish everything.”
  • “I’m allowed to be human.”

These aren’t excuses. They’re reminders that you matter — even when you’re struggling.

Why it’s hard sometimes

Many people grew up with messages like:

  • “Don’t be soft.”
  • “Push harder.”
  • “You’re fine — others have it worse.”
  • “You’re only valuable when you’re useful.”

These messages can make kindness toward yourself feel unfamiliar — even unsafe.

But healing doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from gentle attention, from noticing your needs without judgment.

In therapy, we practise this together.

We slow down. We notice your inner voice. We ask: “Would you speak to a friend this way?” We explore what it means to be on your own side — not just when things go well, but especially when they don’t.

Self‑compassion is not indulgence. It’s repair.

It’s how we begin to feel safe with ourselves. And that safety is the foundation for everything else.

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About Katarzyna OMara

My name is Kat (O’Mara)

As a compassionate and dedicated professional, I have spent years working in the field of counselling, specializing in domestic violence and sexual abuse. My journey began in London, United Kingdom, where I worked at a trauma hospital, supporting clients from diverse backgrounds. My commitment to helping survivors heal and thrive led me to pursue a Master in Counseling in Australia in 2023.

After graduating, I worked as a police and court interpreter where I met many people affected by abuse but, due to my job description, I could not support them in the way I would have liked. However, I learned how the court and police system works- or rather doesn’t work- and the impact these failures have on the survivors and their children.

As a result, I have retrained as a domestic and sexual abuse worker. I worked in a hospital where I supported people from many backgrounds, including women affected by so-called honour-based violence, forced marriages, and trafficked women and girls. Here, I learned the difference that counselling makes to recovery.

So, in 2021 when I moved to Melbourne, I decided to retrain once again. Following completion of a Master of Counselling course, I now work with women who experience relationship difficulties, suffer from depression and anxiety, have experienced trauma, abuse and violence both as adults and as children. I love my job, and I feel that my previous work offers me a unique position from which I can support victims and survivors of abuse in their journey to recovery.

My passion lies in creating a safe space for healing, growth, and resilience. Whether working with adolescents, adults, or seniors, I am committed to fostering hope and facilitating transformation. 

Every day, I am inspired by the inner strength and courage of the women who work with me through their pain towards recovery. I invite you to contact me to see if I can be of help to you too.

Let’s embark on this journey together.

 

Credentials and Training:

  • Registered Domestic Abuse Prevention Advocate (Women’s Aid, UK, 2017): I am equipped to empower survivors and prevent further abuse.
  • Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (The Survivors Trust, UK, 2019): My expertise extends to supporting survivors of sexual violence.
  • Trauma-Focused ACT (2022): I integrate evidence-based approaches to address trauma.
  • Attachment Theory in Clinical Practice (Awareness Psychology Clinic, 2022): Understanding attachment dynamics informs my work.
  • Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) (Sue Johnson, 2022): I utilize this transformative approach for trauma and self-harm.
  • ACT for Grief and Loss (2023): I guide clients through the complexities of grief.
  • Recognizing and Responding to Sexual Violence (RMIT, 2023): My training ensures a trauma-informed approach.
  • The Three-Phased Approach To Treating Trauma (Blue Knot Foundation, 2023): I tailor treatment to each survivor’s unique journey.

About Jowita Jackowski

I am Passionate Therapist with Diverse Experience Psychosocial counselling and psychotherapy have always intrigued me, and my interest stems from several sources.

Observing People and Their Relationships: 

I’ve been fascinated by observing people and their relationships. I wonder how various social factors influence our emotions, behaviours, and life choices. Working in the field of psychosocial counselling allows me to directly connect with people, listen to their stories, and understand their unique experiences. This enables me to express empathy and provide support during challenging moments. 

Impact on Quality of Life:

I recognize the significant impact we can have on someone’s quality of life. Assisting others in coping with emotional, relational, or social challenges is incredibly rewarding. I witness how my work can enhance the well-being of my clients.

Sociological Insights:

My studies in sociology and experience in various social environments have opened my eyes to the complexity of human interactions. I strive to better understand why people behave as they do and what factors influence their choices.

Constant Challenge:

Working in counselling is a perpetual challenge. Each client has unique needs and stories, motivating me to continuously develop professionally and explore new therapeutic tools.

In summary, my fascination arises from a blend of passion for helping others, curiosity about society, and a commitment to ongoing growth. It’s a beautiful and fulfilling occupation that allows me to contribute positively to the lives of others.

My Journey:

Education:

Australian College of Applied Psychology:
o Completed postgraduate studies in counselling and psychotherapy, honing skills in supporting individuals facing emotional challenges.

University of Szczecin:

Pursued master’s studies in sociology, enriching my understanding of human behaviour and social dynamics.

Specialization:

My specialty lies in psychosocial counselling, where I focus on the intersection of psychological and social factors. Passionately, I assist clients in navigating life’s complexities. Currently, I work in a private therapy practice, providing personalized therapeutic interventions for adults, teenagers, and children.

Previous Roles:

Supporting Individuals with Intellectual Disabilities and Brain Injuries:

Prior to my current role, I extensively worked with individuals facing intellectual disabilities and brain injuries. My empathetic approach positively impacted their lives.

Dementia Care:

Additionally, I supported older adults with dementia, prioritizing their well-being and improving their quality of life.

Legal Context: 

My professional journey took an interesting turn when I worked at the District Court in Szczecin, Poland. As a court-appointed guardian for adults, I navigated the complex legal world while advocating for vulnerable individuals. 

Volunteering: 

During my studies I volunteered with the TADA association, focused on HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. I participated in educational initiatives for high school students, spreading knowledge about this crucial health issue. Beyond education, I supported people living with HIV/AIDS both at home and in hospitals.

In conclusion, my diverse experiences have shaped me into a compassionate and competent therapist. I am committed to supporting individuals in their healing journey and eagerly anticipate bringing positive changes to your lives as well.